the beach and the sea

floating on the dead sea in Jerusalem

Jacksonville Beach, FL August 22nd, 2010 at 1:00pm
The water has never been so clear. It is no mistake that my first visit back to the sea is filled with the perfection of solitude. My heart becomes entrained with the rhythm of the earth as I float on top of the crystal blue water. My heart is so full of light my chest always stays above the waves.

How can this not be God?

The sensation of warm then cool touches my skin and a smile stretches across my face. To be in communion with the waves of consciousness, past ever-changing thought one must swim out into the waters with an open heart, facing the fears of the unknown, the unseen lurking below and embrace their being as much as your own, sending the light of love to all with closed eyes.

There is a peace that comes with surrender. And when you are at the point of confusion or doubt return to the practice of love. Go out into the sea, past the comfort of others.... when your toes lift off the ground and you begin to float.... I promise you will have support to keep your body above the waves, but much more than that - your spirit will surround you, even lifting you up.... you know no boundaries. Your skin dissolves and your blood becomes the ocean. The light in your eyes becomes the sun and the sand crystals sparkling beneath you. Then you will know - you are one with God once more. You are home. We are all one.

I honor you in the place in which the whole universe dwells.
I honor you in the place of peace and love and light and truth.
And when you are in that place in you
And I am in that place in me
We are one.
Namaste.

dullness & agitation

Finding a balance of dullness and agitation is the goal of a yogi while in meditation or practicing asana. I find it is helpful to begin the introspective glance into your current state by bringing to mind your San Kalpa (intention - something you want out of life that is non-worldly such as deep inner peace, harmony with all beings, ability to have heart open to giving and receiving love, etc.). Once you have this clearly in your minds eye then become the observer during your practice - the silent watchman.

If you are feeling a little sleepy, bored or lethargic you are too dull. This may be because you ate too much food (or perhaps food that did not give the body the right type of energy), got too much or too little sleep (even 1 hour can make a big difference) or because you got upset the day before (it is very exhausting to the entire psyche to experience anger, hurt, grief, shame or guilt).

If you can do something about it, then why get upset?
If you can't do anything about it, then why bother getting upset?

To combat dulless, picture something in your mind that is physically bright like the light of the sun or uplift the mind by thinking of something that makes you truly happy like the face of someone you love.

The worst is subtle dullness where you are still, focused and the intent is clear, but the energy behind your practice is missing. People go on practicing like this for years. When you are really immersed in your practice, there is an excitement about it - a passion for it. You need to be fully present, engaged with a razor sharp mind.

One the other hand, if you are feeling restless and can't focus you are too agitated. This may be because of the stressors of your day, worrying about the future or lamenting about the past or going over things you need to accomplish. Worry can cloud the mind and create sickness in the body. I read a helpful hint to releasing worry - where will your worry be 100 years from now? You are here, now, worrying, but the object of your worry will be long gone 100 years from now. Things are exactly how they should be, because they are. We have to take responsibility for the karma we have accumulated in creating the current situation and accept the ground where we are and move on. Worry does nothing but harm.

To combat agitation you should think of someone who is in pain and realize that you are doing this for them, for their healing. You can also remember your own death, know that it is coming and focus on what it is that you really want out of this life (your San Kalpa).

The subtle form is when the mind is steadily focused, but underneath there are thoughts running around in the background. Like when a river is frozen, but there is still moving water underneath. The solution is to relax a bit - if the mind is too locked it needs to shift into subtle dullness.

We want our minds exactly in the middle - in between dullness & agitation. When we are beginners we are typically dull then we push too far and become agitated or vice versa. Balance takes practice and cultivating the beautiful process of watching and learning your own mind.

namaste.

inspiration

On a recent trip to visit my mother I had just finished the book I was reading and decided to bring along three new literary adventures: two that I was already familiar with and one that I wasn't sure exactly how or why it had made it's way to my bookshelf and to the top of my stack of books to read. This mystery was the of course what I opened first after I was comfortable in my seat on the plane: Caroline Myss's, "Anatomy of the Spirit". When I read the first page tears flooded into my eyes and I knew that the divine spirit had brought this book into my life as it showed up in my mail without my knowledge of the author or title. It was exactly what I was looking for: a book delving into the mind-body connection and interweaving the Hindu Chakra system, the Christianity rites of sacrament and the Jewish Kaballah in an attempt to give insight on to how to heal one's whole self from a point of self-knowledge, intuition and intellect.

For the next 3 days I read feverishly through the book making notes and outlining phrases, asking questions of myself and giving thoughtful answers, I meditated and prayed and waited for intuitive guidance. Now, almost one month later - I have the answer.

I had known that I wanted to further my education in an effort to gain knowledge and credentials to be in a position where I could use the essence of who I am and what I have learned to help and be of service to others with integrity. What I was missing was patience. I was trying to figure out my educational path right then rather than wait for the right answer to come to reveal itself to me. In this book, not only did I find it packed with information that I will be able to use in working with individuals in a therapeutic setting, but it reminded me that you have to be open to grace. One must ask the questions, then be silent and listen for the inspiration, the answer, the signs that are all around us and within us. Don't fill the gap!

I would take this opportunity to recommit yourself to your own divine light and invite some pure creative inspiration into your life.

namaste

trust

Sometimes I get out my Osho trasncendental zen tarot cards and pick one that seems to be calling to me and read the description of the card. Today was: Trust. I thought I would share...

 "Don't waste your life for that which is going to be taken away. Trust life. If you trust, only then can you drop your knowledge, only then can you put your mind aside. And with trust, something immense opens up. Then this life is no longer ordinary life, it becomes full of God, overflowing. When the heart is innocent and the walls have disappeared, you are briged with infinity. And you are not deceived; there is nothing that can be taken away from you. That which can be taken away from you is not worth keeping, and that which cannot be taken away from you, why should one be afraid of its being taken away? - it cannot be taken away, there is no possibility. You cannot loose your real treasure."

love is salvation

"Love is salvation from all of our ills, imperfections, mistakes, foibles, shortcomings; it is what gives meaning to our humanness, validates our existence and transcends all the ugliness that often characterizes this world. In love there is perfection, there is always a second chance, there is forgiveness, hope, joy, happiness, there a reason to breathe, to live the best life possible." ~ Adam Buchanan

transformation

renaissance year

There are two poems that I find perfect for beginning this new year: the renaissance year - an opportunity for rebirth, growth and transformation. Go ahead! Die and be reborn like the Phoenix, a new being - a fusion of who you were and who you have become. A new person, yet ever more yourself; changed and at the same time the eternal soul. I am sending blessings to you on your journey inward to the underground and may you come back up into the light, spread your wings and fly.


The holy longing

Tell a wise person, or else keep silent.
Because the massman will mock it right away.
I praise what is truly alive,
what longs to be burned to death.

In the warm water of the love-lights.
where you were begotten, where you have begotten,
a strange feeling comes over you
when you see the silent candle burning.

Now you are no longer caught
in the obsession with darkness,
and a desire for higher lovemaking
sweeps you upward.

Distance does not make you falter,
now, arriving in magic, flying,
and finally, insane for the light,
you are the butterfly and you are gone.

And as long as you haven't experienced
this: to die and so to grow,
you are only a troubled guest
on the dark earth.

- Goethe


The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don't go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don't go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don't go back to sleep.

-Rumi